The Real Question, How Do We Socialize
The Real Question, How Do We Socialize

The Real Question, How Do We Socialize

Believe it or not, even as we go into our third year of homeschooling, “how do you socialize your children?” is still the number one question people ask me. I would like to start off by saying I, in fact, do socialize my children. Most homeschool parents will argue this fact because they tend to think of it in relation to socializing your dog. When I think about socialization I tend to use the Websters Dictionary definition 1a “the process beginning during childhood by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society.” I encourage them to make meaningful, lasting friendships and I teach them the importance of being kind to everyone they meet even if they aren’t friends with the person. Our children are constantly learning how to behave, both by observation and discussions with myself and my husband. They learn values, habits, and attitudes in many different places and through different experiences.


Simply put, values are the things you believe to be most important in life. Our family has a set of values that we pass down to our children through example, stories, and traditions. One of our biggest values is family comes first, we try to teach this to our children by always making time for them and having a strong family unit. We also hold being kind to others very high. Our children know that we try and do our best to help people in need. Not only do we try to help people, but we also try to understand people, other cultures, and different religions, so that we are able to approach different situations in a more understanding way.


Teaching your children good habits should be something that starts from the day they’re born. We teach our children healthy habits such as eating the right food, brushing their teeth, and getting enough sleep. On a deeper side though we also teach our children how to understand their emotions and deal with them in a healthy way. We often discuss that every emotion is valid, but then we talk about how each of these feelings should be expressed according to what is socially acceptable but also what is healthy! Friendship is also a healthy habit that needs to be taught. Children need to have an example of what healthy relationships look like and they also need to know that it’s alright to leave an unhealthy friendship or relationship.


Attitude is one of the most important parts of your personality and ultimately your whole life. This is the part of your personality that decides how you deal with a situation. Whether you’re able to overcome hurdles in your life or get bogged down in the “non-perfect” parts of your life. I want my children to really focus on learning how to have a positive and outgoing attitude. Teaching my children to believe in themselves enough to know how to overcome challenges is extremely important. I teach them that personal development is important, even at a young age they have lots to learn. Our kids are learning to have a different outlook on life because they are seeing things from so many different viewpoints. They are exposed to so many people with different perspectives so it’s really teaching them to respect people from different backgrounds.

But, When Do They See Other Kids?

Even when I explain what socialization is, what we do, and how my children have positive friendships, people are still concerned with the amount of time that my children spend with other children. What people don’t understand is that when children are in a brick-and-mortar school they aren’t sitting around talking and playing the whole time they’re there. Only a small amount of the school day is actually spent playing and “socializing” with other children.

Here’s where the difference comes in. We may not meet up with other children every single day as you would see in a traditional school setting, but what happens when we do go out with other children is truly amazing. When homeschoolers get together there are different aged children all playing and exploring together for usually hours at a time. This allows the children to form meaningful relationships with others that they actually get along with. This also allows them to meet people of different ages and learn how to act when they are around people who are both younger and older. This allows them to be in both roles a leader and a follower. We typically go out with other homeschoolers 3 to 4 times a week, either just at the park or going on homeschool field trips together. The kids also participate in organized sports and other classes so they are able to learn how to act in those types of environments as well.

Educational Games for 2-8 Year Olds


  1. Blanche Andreo

    I love your article on socialisation. We are asked this a lot as well and I think that people get nervous when you chose to live a slightly different way to the norm. Having had children in school and now children out of school I feel that the comparison is silly. We do not hang out with 30 children of the same age everyday, but we DO see people. Regularly. In real adult life, are we expected to be around 30 people the same age as us every day? Of course not, that would be ridiculous. I feel what my children experience now is actually much more like ‘real life’ and gives them a better start with those tricky social situations they may find themselves in later in life. As you say, sometimes the follower, sometimes the leader, sometimes supporting, sometimes being encouraged. It can take a while longer to establish friendships in the world of home education, as you don’t see the same people every day. But with a little time and a little effort we have made some really good friends. And each one of us is friends with each member of those families. My eldest daughter is happy playing with the younger brother, the older children often take my youngest under their wing. The age barrier simply doesn’t exist. We seem to get to know each other for who we are rather than being plonked together in age groups.

    1. dusty_beatofourdrum

      I’m so glad that you liked it and could see where I am coming from! Sometimes I find taking a different approach on a topic than the norm can be hard! I definitely agree with everything you say, especially the part about how we are teaching what the real world is going to be like! I couldn’t stand being in a room with 30 people my own age for 8 hours a day, HAHA!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *